Noonan Secretly Can’t Wait To See Look On Poor Peoples Faces Tomorrow

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FINANCE MINISTER Michael Noonan is gearing up for his favourite time of the year in Leinster house this afternoon, and he secretly can’t wait to see the look on poor peoples faces tomorrow, an anonymous source can reveal.

Mr. Noonan was said to be ‘highly aroused’ upon entering the Dail this morning while clutching a hard-back copy of tomorrows budget.

“Last year he was nervous about how his first budget would be taken by the public,” said the source, who claims to know the minister for over twenty years. “He was asking other Dáil members if they caught the worry in peoples eyes this morning as they came into work.”

“He later joked that he couldn’t wait to see the look on low-income families faces tomorrow evening after he announces the budget.”

Once the Budget is done and dusted, Minister Noonan is expected to rush home in time to catch the ‘voxpops of poor families on RTE Six-One news.

“Michael said he loves to watch people crying over the budget on the news,” said the source. “It’s like his X-Factor and said one time that it made his testicles tingle.”

This year, the Government decided to bring the budget forward, as it was too close to Christmas time and effected consumer spending.

“Mr Noonan told me that voters were like goldfish in a bowl and had a limited memory span,” added the source. “He said they will forget all about the budget cuts by December and will continue to swim around in their little ‘bowl brains’ until next year.”