Garda Inquiry As Beastiality Ring Infiltrate Ploughing Championships
AFTER a crowd of 80,000 people attended the opening day of this year’s Ploughing Championships organisers were understandably ecstatic at the event’s success.
The championships are seen by many as a celebration of rural life and the agriculture industry which is worth in excess of €9 billion annually to the economy.
However, organisers awoke this morning to the nightmare scenario of rogue bestiality enthusiasts sneaking into the event.
It is believed a small band of perverse individuals affiliated with the Bestiality is Best (BiB) organisation had gained access to the site located in Ratheniska, Co. Laois despite being banned from previous championships.
“Let’s make no mistake about this, these lot are the Al Qaeda of the forbidden love towards the cattle world” a Garda told WWN.
Many farmers on site were unaware of the large scale man hunt unfolding.
“Tis the stuff nightmares, you hear whispers on the wind about this BiB lot” shared distraught beef farmer Martin Crainey. “They say they can smell the cows fear and that gets them going. The danger is the customer will end up tasting that fear in the beef, it renders it useless you know.”
WWN can exclusively reveal that the army have been drafted in to assist the Gardaí as the number of BiB members in attendance is worse than first feared.
“We want to assure farmers and attendees we are doing our best to weed out these cattle-loving bastards,” a Garda spokesman offered. “It appears they came in via helicopter in the early hours of the morning and failed in an initial attempt to load a cow onto the helicopter. After this, it is believed they tried to pass themselves off as normal members of the public.”
Despite the dangers, Today’s championships will go on as normal.
More to follow as we get it…