American Oil And Construction Corporations ‘Yet To Decide’ On How Best Destroy And Rebuild Syria

AMERICAN OIL and construction corporations have yet to make a decision on what is the best way to ‘destroy and rebuild’ yet another warn torn middle eastern country, the White House has confirmed today.

Spokesperson for the multi-billion dollar groups, and front man for the USA, Barak Obama, said the first step towards an occupation in Syria would be the public release of doctored intelligence regarding the use of chemical weapons by President Bashar Assad.

“Once the necessary paperwork is complete, we expect to strike sometime next week.” said the American president earlier. “The Central Intelligence Agency has already paved the way for military action, and we should be in and out of there in five years.”

State Department deputy spokeswoman Marie Harf said there was no doubt about who was responsible for last week’s chemical weapons attack.

“I think we all know the truth here.” she joked, before an audible laughter from her colleagues filled the white house press conference room. “It’s not really important now if weapons of mass destruction were found in Syria or not; it’s all about how best to bomb the country and rebuild it without destroying that precious oil line running through it.”

Ms. Harf was then corrected by a member of her staff.

“Sorry, my mistake,  its not important if ‘chemical weapons’ were used or not.” she comically quoted with her fingers.

Meanwhile, British prime minister David Cameron said he would back the United states of corporations decision, ‘whatever it may be’ .

“Its best we just do whatever they say really.” he told WWN. “This planet doesn’t run on peace and tranquillity you know.”

“Sometimes we’ve all got to do a Blair on it and get our hands dirty.” he added.