“There Are Some Seriously Ugly looking Motherfuckers living On This Island.”: Michelle Obama

THE AMERICAN first lady, Michelle Obama, said on her arrival today that there are some seriously ugly looking  motherfuckers living in Ireland, and that she couldn’t wait leave this God forsaken place.

After arriving at Dublin Airport on Marine Helicopter II she was whisked to Trinity College along with her daughter Malia (14) and Sasha (12) to study their family heritage and see the Book of Kells.

“There must be something in the water here.” said the 49-year-old. “Everyone looks grey and poorly.

“No wonder people get drunk before heading out for the night.” she added.

The comments came following a brief introduction to several TD’s and lecturers at the 500 year-old college.

“Your man Gilmore smells like a bar toilet seat.” said the first lady. “He has gooey yellow corners in his eyes like you’d see on a sick dog.”

The Obamas arrived in Belfast on Air Force One after 8.30am this morning and are expected to leave ‘as soon as humanly possible’, a source close to the family said earlier.

“They really don’t want to stay any longer than they have to.” said a personal aid. “I think Michelle thinks the ugliness is contagious and doesn’t want any of her two daughters mingling with the natives.”

After her comments this morning, Michelle Obama requested to be flown somewhere quiet and peaceful, and to be left enjoy the Irish scenery, without any Irish people in it.