Wanker Couple Planning To Let Children Run Around Pub For A Bit This Weekend


kids in bar

A WANKER couple said they are planning to let their three young children run around a Waterford pub this coming weekend, while they completely ignore them and skull a few pints.

Parents Thomas and Jessica Morris told WWN that they will probably head out around 1pm on Sunday afternoon to watch some football, and let their children do what ever they damn well please.

“They loves it now so they does.” said Ms. Morris (24). “We’ll grab some chips and sausages for them and a bokkle of fizzy orange, be grand.”

The Morris children, Damo (4), Peggy (7) and Fintan (9) said they can’t wait to play hide and go seek in the busy pub and run around like absolute fucking lunatics.

“I loves scobbing at people eating their dinners.” said Fintan.”Sometimes I pee on the beer-garden plants.” he added.The Morris family are expected to stay out for the majority of the day, before ringing a random relative to mind their children.

“Sure the kids do be wrecked from all that running around so we’d usually call someone to take them for the evening while we head into town.” said Thomas Morris. “Thanks to that stupid ‘no children past 9pm’ law we’d bring them with us.”

The unemployed couple said that they cannot afford a baby-sitter to mind their kids on the weekend.

“We’re hardly going to send them to a créche after the news this week now, are we?.” Mr. Morris concluded.