Commander Chris Hadfield Not So Cool Without Zero Gravity



INTERNATIONAL SPACE Station commander Chris Hadfield is said to be ‘not so cool’ now that he’s in the earth’s gravitational field, fans of the astronaut admitted today.

The 53-year-old Canadian, who arrived back to earth after a 5 month stay on the ISS last month, is reported to be just doing every day normal things, like shopping and reading books.

“He’s just not the same anymore.” said one twitter follower. “What good is he now that he doesn’t even levitate?”

Hadfield, who had over 930,000 Twitter followers while in space, tweeted that he was unable to ‘fly’ here on earth due to the planets gravitational pull, and issued an apology to any fans who may have been mislead into thinking he was some kind of super-hero.

“I assumed people would know about the whole zero-gravity thing in space.” he said.

Since the revelation he has lost over 800,000 followers.

Sources close to the astronaut said Chris was always kind of a ‘boring fucker’ anyway, and advised people not to get their hopes up when they meet him.

“Chris has been jumping on his kids trampoline trying to imitate weightlessness since he got back.” a neighbour told WWN. “He usually ends up  in a fetal position on the lawn beside it, before crying himself to sleep.”

“The poor guy seems a little deflated.” she added.