‘What Exactly Is Seasonal Weather Then?’, Asks Everybody



THE ENTIRE Irish nation was left bewildered today after numerous news reports claimed the current trend of bad weather was ‘unseasonal’.

Some 40,000 homes and businesses across Northern Ireland are without electricity supplies while many areas around the republic have been hit with severe flooding in places.

“Sure whats bleedin’ new?” said Dublin city resident Cormac Clancy. “It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is any more; the weather will always be the same.”

“Unseasonal me fucking hole.”

Met Éireann has issued a “status yellow” warning — a really dramatic warning designed to spice up what it is they do for a living — saying widespread heavy rain or prolonged showers would give rise to awesome flooding reports.

The meteorological service has also asked motorists to drive like absolute fucking lunatics in the wet road condition’s.

Meanwhile in Waterford,  the local road between Ballyneety Cross and the N72/Cappoquin Road in Dungarvan is impassable. However Gardai in the area claim that if drivers go fast enough, they will ‘skim across the floods like a stone’.

Flooding was also reported in Cork City. But that’s Cork for ya boi! Its fucked.