Country Holds It’s Breath As Minister For Finance Puts Entire EU Bailout Fund On 9/4 Favourite ‘Hurricane Fly’ At Cheltenham
THE Republic of Ireland will be holding it’s breath today as the entire European/IMF bailout fund (€80bn) was put on the 9/4 favourite, Hurricane Fly, in the Champion hurdle at Cheltenham today.
It is estimated a ‘staggering’ 2.5 million viewers will be glued to their television sets for the race at 3:20 this afternoon.
Hurricane Fly’s recent record makes him a ‘sure fire winner’ said finance minister Michael Noonan.
“Its all or nothing at this stage.”
“This will either make or break Ireland.” he said.
A referendum was held four weeks ago with an astounding 90% of the Irish voters opting for the ‘back it all on a horse’ option.
Hundreds of horse trainers were drafted in to the Phoenix Park by the government to help decide on what horse they should back in Cheltenham this week.
Veteran trainer Aidan O’Brien told WWN that ‘Hurricane Fly’ was the only horse they could come to agreement on after several hours of talks.
“This is a big ask.”
“The whole country is counting on this horse so we had to choose carefully.”
“I think Hurricane Fly will do it, and what a fitting name for a horse on this occasion.” he added.
If Ireland’s horse wins today the country will get back 180 billion euros from bookmakers Paddy Power.
The minister for finance said that today is the most exciting day he has ever lived.
“I think I speak for everyone when I say ‘WHAT A RUSH!”
“We’re gonna have some fantastic Patrick’s day if he comes through for us.”
However, if Ireland loses today it will have to default on all debt and apply for another loan from Europe.
At a press hearing today, European Commissioner for Economic and Financial Affairs, Ollie Rehn, slammed the decision to gamble everything on a horse as ‘ludicrous’ and begged the country to rethink it’s priorities to Europe.
“First they gamble with banks and now horses?”
“Are these people crazy?”
No one replied.