Cardinal Brady ‘Well Fucking Chuffed’ About Papal Conclave Gig

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CARDINAL Sean Brady said he was ‘well fucking chuffed’ today after arriving in Rome as one of the 115 cardinal-electors who will vote on the future leader of the Catholic church.

Speaking outside Saint Peters basillica earlier, the 73-year-old Cavan man said he was honored to take part in the selection process and was looking forward to a good old session later in the Italian capital.

“Ah man, its some spot now in fairness.” he said, as he signed autographs for alter boys outside the  Late Renaissance church. “The entire Vatican will be off its face tonight if we can agree on an old man to run this baby.”

As with all cardinal electors Cardinal Brady celebrated Mass at his designated church last night in Rome, that of Saints Julitta and Quirico on Via Conti.

“The wine was flowing like the blood of Christ.” said the All-Ireland primate. “If I see one more body of Christ wafer today I’ll puke me ring up.

“Never get the munchies in a church.” he added.

Meanwhile back home, hundreds of anti-sexual abuse people critised cardinal Brady’s decision to join the papal conclave, stating he was ‘only in it for the glory’ and that he should have refused to take part in the proceedings.

Mr Brady responded to critics by saying that the the only glory he was in it for was: “The glory of God baby!!”.

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