Titgate: Nine French Officials Killed In London Embassy Attack

ROYAL fundamentalists angered over the countries publication of printed images of a topless Kate Middleton which ridiculed her tits stormed the French embassy  in London last night, killing nine French officials, witnesses  said.

British protesters scaled the walls of the French embassy in the Knightsbridge area of the capital and attacked the occupants as they slept.

Sources claim the dead officials were mutilated before being raped repeatedly by the angry mob.

“I looked out me window bruv an’ all I could see were hundreds of well dressed men and women climbing ladders over the embassy walls an tha’, yea?.” said local resident Mohammed Ahkmer

“It was like one of them fox-hunts innit!? Only wiv out all dem horses and hounds runnin’ round the place blood.”

French Secretary of State Laurent Fabius confirmed that nine officials had been killed in the protest at the French consulate in central London. He strongly condemned the attack and called the people of Britain hypocrites for ‘overreacting to a topless celebrity photograph’.

Meanwhile violence has been erupting across the UK with hundreds of attacks being reported on French flags, businesses and  expatriates.

A rally held in protest of the tits marched its way to the greater Manchester area town of Ashton-under-Lyne earlier  to protest its twinning of French town Chaumont.

The atmosphere turned tense when the protestors attacked a local bakery who specialises in baguettes and French pastries.

“They just started wrecking the bakery. Everyone was punching and kicking the windows and stomping on my large variety of breads and shouting ‘Death to France’ over and over again.” said owner Rupert Heathcliff.