Underpants Bomber Signs 5 Year Contract With Calvin Klein

Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share
SHARES

THE Saudi underpants bomber has signed a five year contract with fashion house Calvin Klein, a spokesman for the company has revealed today.

The hunky over night sensation will apparently follow in the footsteps of Mark Wahlberg and David Becham by promoting the company’s new underwear range until 2017.

“He’s going to be the new poster boy of Klein” a source told WWN earlier.

Last night the crafty bomber signed to Calvin Klein on a whopping €14mn contract which will feature him in his jocks all over billboards and in magazines across the globe.

Mr.X was originally thought to have been a member of the terrorist group al Qaeda, but CIA officials later revealed that he is in fact a mole working for both the Saudi and US secret services, making everything he did acceptable.

The super cool agent was said to have penetrated al-Qaeda’s deadly affiliate Yemen and tracked the bomb’s movement for weeks before smuggling out the device in his crotch and into the hands of American authorities.

“He is s true hero that will contribute a great deal to both the US and middle eastern underwear market.” said company founder and fashion designer Calvin Klein.

The agent’s identity is a closely-held secret and both he and his family are understood to have been moved to a Calvin Klein safe house in Nevada out of fear of retaliation from al-Qaeda and possible proposals from rival companies.

“I think he will sell our new ‘mystery’ range of mens underwear with ease.” one rep said.

The company originally showcased their new ‘Mystery’ line with John Travolta in New York last month, but poor sales figures threatened the future of the range.

We appreciate all the help we can get, become a WWN Patreon Supporter below and gain access to bonus content.

Become a Patron!