Author: Colm Williamson

“Here’s Some Settings, Now Fuck Off”

FACEBOOK CEO Mark Zuckerberg has responded to the data breach controversy involving Cambridge Analytica yesterday by introducing some new settings, before telling users to cop on to themselves. “What the actual fuck do you think we were doing with all that information?” Zuckerberg began in his latest status update, “did adverts about items you were… Read more »

“I’m Just Used To The Fucking State Of The Place” Waterford Quays Objection Filed

AN Bórd Pleanála has confirmed that 3 valid objections to the development plans for Waterford’s North Quays have been received and will take up to 18 weeks for them to make a decision. Despite Waterford City & County Council publicly stating no objection was received last Thursday evening, allowing Taoiseach Leo Varadkar to deliver the good news to Waterford’s WIT arena the following… Read more »

Publican Is His Own Best Customer

FOR Waterford publican, Tommy Geraghty, business at The Screaming Goat bar has been slow the last couple of years, despite his accountant reporting a 34% increase volume in alcohol being sold. “I can’t make head nor tails of it,” the 59-year-old insisted, now ordering an Eastern European staff member to pull him a pint from the bottom bar as the runoff… Read more »

Dublin Skiers Call For Own Traffic Lane

DUBLIN SKIERS have called on Dublin City Council to introduce a specially designated traffic lane for commuters skiing to work. The proposal comes just a day after the arrival of a snow storm known as ‘the beast from the East’, which has left most of the country incapacitated, except for skiers who seemingly relish this… Read more »

Government Urge Homeless To Huddle Together ‘Real Tight’ During Cold Snap

THIS week’s Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy has called on Ireland’s homeless community to huddle together ‘real tight’, ahead of exceptionally cold weather which is forecast for the next week. Speaking with his mouth, Mr. Murphy pointed out that hugging reduces the surface area of your body being exposed to the cold air, advising that the more homeless people that… Read more »