“I’d Drink 4, Maybe 5 Beers A Night, But I’m Not An Alcoholic” Insists Local Alcoholic

A COUNTY Waterford man who admits to drinking every evening after work has insisted today that he is not an alcoholic, as he keeps his body in good shape, eats healthy and only drinks 4 or 5 beers a night, at the most.

Martin Power rigorously denies that he has an addiction problem, despite not being able to enjoy a sober evening without feeling like he is missing out on something if he doesn’t drink his favourite German beer.

“I tried not drinking on weekdays a few times, but it’s just boring; ya need something to put you asleep, otherwise I’d be awake all night and wrecked for work,” the 38-year-old professional desperately tried to convince himself, “I just like the taste to wet the lips. It’s not like I’m trying to get drunk or anything. Like, I spent the majority of my twenties trying to get drunk, and now the majority of my thirties trying not to. So I’m doing well in fairness, when you think about it”.

Mr. Power also pointed out the comparison between what he drinks, and what some other people drink, conveniently puts it all into perspective for his favour.

“Some of the lads I know would put away 10 pints of Guinness in a sitting, and they seem to be doing fine,” he said, now ignoring a flutter in his liver region as he spoke, “Sure look at the alcos on the street out there; some of them lads have been there years and they’re still going strong,” adding, “besides, I read somewhere on the internet that drinking a few beers everyday actually fights heart disease and can even make you lose weight… look it up if you don’t believe me”.

Asked whether he thought that his habits could come under the bracket of a ‘functioning alcoholic’, he quickly rubbished the label.

“What a load of auld shite that is,” he now barked, seemingly agitated at the suggestion, “I never have a hangover in the morning. I never miss work and I have never, ever been in trouble over being drunk or disorderly. I just like me few drinks in the evening is all, and I don’t put in or out with no one, and that’s good enough for me”.