Local Man Got A Bit Of Colour


THE slight change in pigmentation of local man Sean Harrison’s skin due to exposure to UV rays from the sun has not gone unnoticed, with 8 of his 9 co-workers remarking that he ‘got a bit of colour’ at the weekend.

Waterford native Harrison, normally as white as a sheet, is currently slightly less whiter than a sheet thanks to spending the weekend walking around in the sunshine.

Although this would not be cause for comment anywhere else in the world, achieving any sort of tanned complexion in Ireland is enough to kick off a full-length conversation, usually peppered with gentle jokes about ‘being on holidays’ or ‘getting the fake tan on’.

“After sports results, the price of car insurance and the length of time it takes to travel from one destination to the next, ‘getting a bit of colour’ is one of the main topics of small talk in Ireland,” said Dr. Rishmond Jerriton, the world’s leading expert in waffle.

“You will never hear anyone in, for example, Spain or Thailand remarking on ‘getting a bit of colour’. But in Ireland, it’s the perfect kick-off point for people to fill three, maybe four minutes talking inanely about nothing before they go their separate ways. In fact, I’m not sure any other civilisation on the planet, even uses the expression ‘getting colour’. What the fuck does that even mean?”

Meanwhile, temperatures continue to soar in Ireland, leading to an increase of people who have ‘gotten a bit of colour’, possibly leading to a number of cases of being ‘sunburnt to fuck’.