Undertaker Struggling To Find Work In Non-Tombstone Piledriver Related Jobs Market

FORMER undertaker The Undertaker has admitted that he is finding it hard to hold down a steady job in the non-tombstone piledriving, non-chokeslamming sector after leaving his high-profile position at the top of the wrestling world.

The Undertaker, who hung up his boots and bid an emotional farewell to the wrestling world at Sunday’s Wrestlemania event, spoke exclusively to WWN about the difficulties faced by a 52-year old man with limited experience in anything except being an occasional bike-gang member and full time dead person who beats the crap out of scantily clad men on a frequent basis.

Following his retirement from wrestling, The Undertaker uploaded his CV to countless job websites and although he has had probationary periods as everything from a florist to a Zamboni driver, he has come up short at tasks and schedules that do not involve making people rest in peace.

“It’s hard out there for a zombie biker high priest,” said Under, waiting to be called for an interview for his local Subway.

“It’s like these places don’t even take into account my 23-2 Wrestlemania win-loss record or my ability to lick the underside of my own chin. I’d like to find work that involves giving someone the odd tombstone, as I was always very good at that, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be a very transferable skill”.

Meanwhile wrestling fans around the world have stressed that if Mr. Taker would like to come back to the WWE and fight for another few years, then they’re perfectly ok with that.