Local Mother To Spend Christmas Informing Children Who’s Pregnant, Engaged Or Dead

THREE adult children of one Waterford mother are to be inundated with the endless news from their hometown in 2016 as they stay at home for the Christmas period.

Marriages, engagements, deaths, pregnancies both planned and unplanned will be trotted out by 67-year-old Sheila Shanley in the coming days as she excitedly informs her children Eamon, Ciara and Roisin all about people they vaguely know or don’t know at all.

“Graham D’Arcy’s eldest. Dead. Ciaran Caffrey, you know him, well, his mother. Dead,” Sheila explained, imbuing each nugget of information with the importance it required.

Despite protests from her children that “Mam, I’ve no idea who that is, I’ve never heard of them” Sheila will continue to insist “ah, no, you do know him. He was at your cousins 6th birthday party, remember World Cup 2002 was on, well anyway, he’s dead too, that poor fella”.

Local gossip will prove to be of no interest to Sheila’s children as they explain they have outgrown all idle speculation of people from the small town in which they grew up in.

“Ciara Fogerty is pregnant again, she was in school with Roisin remember, well, I’ll tell you this, it’s not the husbands. Sure the baby will come out sporting a tan from Spain if the rumours are true,” Sheila will share with her children who at this point will finally have heard something worth gossiping about.