Group Of Friends Celebrate Another Year Of Not Getting Pregnant

A close knit group of friends descended on trendy Dublin nightspot Alfies early this evening to toast yet another year of remaining pregnancy free.

The friends, all single and aged between 23 and 24, have yet to enter the stage in their lives when their particular peers and family would jump for joy at such occurrence and so have sought to mark their impressive achievement.

“Here’s to another year,” announced Emily Rohan cheerily as she chuckled with delight at not being pregnant yet.

“Was touch and go there for awhile,” added Naomi Phillips, alluding to a recent party at which she jumped the bones of her ex-boyfriend Paul.

As the evening wore on Jess Prendeville, often touted as the most likely to get pregnant, became emotional as she began her 8th toasting of the evening.

“No, no, fucking serious for a second, like, I’m fucking proud of myself. And I hope, this time next year, we can do this again,” Jess said before her face contorted into an ugly yet joyful outburst of tears.

Jess’s rousing speech was followed by another chorus of poorly coordinated high fives and intense discussion about how good looking their babies would be if they could procreate together.