Tag: moon

Buzz Aldrin Free To Make Up Any Old Shit Now

BUZZ Adlrin, the last surviving crew member of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing mission, has spoken out following the death of his fellow astronaut Michael Collins, stating that Collins always agreed that it was Buzz Aldrin who ‘really held that whole moon trip together’. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you; I was the star… Read more »

‘Call Us When You Find Oil’, NASA Told

NASA’s ‘big news’ about the discovery of water on the moon has been met with a resounding ‘meh’ from humanity, in a year where even the CIA struggled to drum up wonder and awe with their announcement that UFO’s were real. The space agency had drummed up huge buzz before the announcement with a number… Read more »

Buzz Aldrin Admits To Cracking One Out On The Moon

THE mystery surrounding a curious, gel-like substance on the surface of the moon has been solved, after veteran astronaut Buzz Aldrin came forward to admit that ‘hey, the moon is a boring place and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do’. Chinese astronomers had been baffled by the substance, found on the dark side… Read more »

Moon To Pull Handbrake Turn Tonight

ASTRONOMY Ireland has confirmed it is setting up dozens of telecopes at its headquarters in Blanchardstown to watch the moon make its first handbrake turn over Irish skies tonight, WWN can confirm. Tonight’s 180 is expected to wow stargazers at about 10.30pm and will last 34 minutes as Earth’s only satellite skids across the summer evening sky. “Expect… Read more »

Israel’s Moon Mission Shot Down By Hamas

IN WHAT was to be a triumphant achievement for Israeli space exploration, the nation’s privately funded moon mission was quickly brought to a halt this morning after the rocket was shot down shortly after take off, WWN can confirm. The non-profit SpaceIL spacecraft launched from Florida’s Cape Canaveral this morning in a bid to become the fourth country to make a soft landing… Read more »

Moon Just Showing Off At This Stage

SCIENTISTS at US space agency NASA have confirmed that the moon which will display a ‘rare super blue blood moon’ this evening is just showing off at this stage and is just looking for attention. “Ah, honestly, don’t look at it. That’s exactly what it wants,” confirmed one NASA official, who also remarked “what even… Read more »