Confusion As Department Of Justice Enforces Deportation Orders

“CAN…WE DO that?” one panicked member of the Department of Justice said after learning a deportation flight containing 32 Georgian nationals who had been served with deportation orders took place yesterday evening.

Paranoia has spread through some sections of the department as staff can’t escape the feeling they are doing something well within the parameters of their roles and responsibilities.

“The details aren’t important, sure the pro-Putin Georgian government continue to crackdown on protests which has led to the arrest of opposition leader GiGi Ugulava and it’s zero craic being gay there. What’s important here is we get a rare PR win with the most important demographic in Ireland; angry eggs on Twitter who will definitely be satiated by this single flight,” explained one source close to the Minister for Justice Jim O’Callaghan.

Asked if this new approach will now lead to greater resources for faster processing and investigation of cases and subsequent appeals, and the building of permanent asylum seeker reception centres to replace dank and dirty hotels making a killing from the State, the source was unequivocal.

“Best we can do is increase money to hotels, maybe increase the number of arbitrary rejections so racists don’t give out to us as much, and hope no goodie two shoes groups point out we’re denying people their rights and ignoring due process,” explained the source.

It remains unclear if more deportation flights will be needed to keep focus away from continued housing crisis failures and new policies which will result in further rent and house price increases.

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