Fine Gael & Fianna Fáil Ask Electorate To Keep Least Vulnerable & Most Wealthy In Mind Before Voting

AHEAD OF the local and European elections tomorrow Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil have made a plea for voters to keep the most comfortable people in the country in their minds.

“When you’re casting your ballot we only ask you consider how your choice of candidate could impact Canadian pension funds’ Irish property interests or someone who earns too much money and would like to keep it that way,” confirmed a joint statement from the two largest parties in the three-party coalition government.

“And ask not what local services can be improved but what your vote could do in helping Ursula von der Leyen get another 5 years as Israel’s cheerleader in chief,” continued the statement.

Appeals were made for the public not to remind themselves of the fact Fine Gael MEPs voted against a European Parliament resolution to provide greater resources and coordination to the EU’s efforts in ending the horror of migrants drowning in the Mediterranean Sea.

“Anyone selfishly thinking of waiting lists for essential services should not be so narrow minded, our lads really enjoy flying out to Brussels and feeling important, and our councillors, well whatever the feck they’d be at let them at it for another few years,” offered the spokesperson.

In a positive development, the parties said they were glad to see the media and electorate are completely over their brief interest in the rights of carers and those with disabilities, who they have not been questioned about on TV, radio or in print.

Asked why they had not included their coalition partners the Green Party in their appeals Simon Harris and Micheál Martin replied ‘the what party?’