Irish Embassy In London Confirms Woman Matching Kate Middleton’s Description Applied For Citizenship


AFTER INTENSE media attention and a deluge of reporters blockading the street outside the embassy, the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs confirmed rumours that a person fitting Kate Middleton’s description was seen entering the embassy premises with the intent of applying for a British passport.

“We don’t normally comment on individual applications but is she the one who looks like the stick up her arse has a stick up its arse? Yeah, she was here. Took her 80 attempts to get the passport photo right, did my head in to be honest,” confirmed one embassy worker.

The news of Middleton’s apparent desire to gain Irish citizenship and leave Britain is expected to be met with the sort of over the top and deranged reaction British people normally reserve for more serious matters such as amateur photo editing.

“The woman had the usual questions and observations you’d get from an English person such as ‘why do I need to apply for a passport, I thought we owned you?’, ‘my relatives served in the army in Northern Ireland, you’re welcome’ and ‘isn’t it great English man Cillian Murphy won an Oscar?’ but she filled her application and left shortly after that,” confirmed another embassy source.

It is believed Middleton is seeking to gain citizenship so she can live out a quiet life away from press and public scrutiny only Ireland can offer.

“I think she saw how the whole country ground to a halt to obsess over the fact Matt Damon had a Super Valu shopping bag a few years ago and thought that’s the kind of lack of intrusion she could get used to,” added our source.