Devastating End Of Marriage Great News For Woman’s Single Friend

AMIDST the expressions of sympathy flooding the WhatsApp chats of local woman Leanne Farrell after being dumped by her husband of 9 years, there was one message sender who could already see the positive side of the devastating news.

“Fucking get in!” single woman and friend of Farrell’s Jackie Hennessey was heard to exclaim as she finally had someone to head out on single nights with again.

“We’re getting on. All the other girls in the group are married, complete dry shites with toddlers dangling from their tits, you’d have an easier time deposing Putin than getting them out on the lash,” explained Hennessey who sees a silver lining in the fact Farrell’s husband was caught elbow deep in a coworker 10 years’ his junior.

“Don’t get me wrong, tough break for Leanne ‘n all but thank fuck I won’t be out on my own on weekends scanning the bars for eligible men,” offer Hennessey, who would leave it a few days before setting up a ‘Penis Patrol’ WhatsApp group for herself and Farrell.

Farrell, who is still coming to terms with the fact she has been unceremoniously kicked out of her house and replaced in her marital bed by a 25-year-old, can expect between 80 and 100 invites on night outs from Hennessey over the coming weeks, which Hennessey will selflessly bill as ‘just what the doctor ordered’.

“I know Grainne’s marriage has hit a bump too so fingers crossed we’ll be a trio soon enough on the cougar hunts but I suppose I can’t get too greedy,” confirmed Hennessey.