Everything A Money Racket, Insists Local Dad

DESPITE not fully hearing what his son Darragh had said, local father Aidan Tierney preemptively dismissed whatever service or product he might have mentioned as a ‘money racket’, much like he does with every single other mention of anything that involves the movement of cash out of a wallet or bank account.

“That’s all that is,” reiterated Tierney, scoffing at his son who mentioned some subscription service involving home delivery of grocery shopping which the junior Tierney suggested was ideal for him due to the long unsociable hours he works.

“Sure they only came up with that to get the few bob, and they saw you coming that’s for sure. I should put you in the press above the kettle with all the other mugs so I should,” scolded the 67-year-old, who was only warming up.

In the 37 subsequent minutes of uninterrupted invective, nothing escaped Tierney’s ire as he exclusively revealed a vast array of things including living and dying, were all a racket perpetrated by sly auld gowls with nothing but ripping off the ordinary man in mind.

“Take that TV there I have, nothing wrong with it apart from the fact it doesn’t work. Now, see me? If I set foot in a shop looking for a new one, they’ll only try and charge me for a big feck off TV but I know their game,” explained Tierney, who last spent a sum of money sometime in the early 90s.

“I’ll be off so Dad,” confirmed Tierney’s son, although he couldn’t be heard over the sound of the pensioner explaining how he remembers a time when petrol stations paid you to fill your car up with petrol and dentists would only charge a fiver for the sort of thing people head to Turkey for now.