2023’s Best Movies As Voted For By Your Girlfriend Who Saw Barbie 8 Times In The Cinema

IT WAS A great year for cinema with blockbusters galore, but what were the best movies of the year? For that, we turn to your girlfriend, who saw Barbie more times than most people see their kids:

Barbie

My genital-less boyfriend with a plastic mound where his penis should be found it quite triggering but I enjoyed it.

El Conde

The black and white pic about Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet being a vampire who witnessed the French revolution was a real departure for director Pablo Larraín. Less enjoyable was my boyfriend bringing up how Barbie isn’t actually that good a movie while I was trying to watch this.

Samsara

Set in Laos and Zanzibar three teenage monks accompany a soul in transit from one body to another. Saw this at the Berlinale, but what I heard at Berlinale was my boyfriend whispering in my ear that Barbie being a box office success isn’t a barometer for what constitutes a good movie.

Beau Is Afraid

A thundering and chaotic Freudian mess, watched after taking mushroom; would recommend.

The Zone of Interest

A run-of-the-mill Nazi family’s humdrum life played out with Auschwitz clearly seen in the background. Haunting stuff. What haunts me more is being asked to leave the cinema when a patron overheard my boyfriend say ‘want to know what my Auschwitz was this year? That stupid Barbie movie”.

Killers of The Flower Moon

Long enough to give my boyfriend the chance to fully explore his thesis entitled ‘I Just Think It’s Stupid, The Barbie Movie, Like Feminism Big Whoop, And If You Like It That’s Stupid Too’.

Oppenheimer

First movie I went to see as a newly single person. Fantastic!