Making Sure Your Child’s Letter To Santa Is GDPR Compliant


COMPLYING with GDPR guidelines is not something a young child writing to Santa Claus should be worrying about, which is why WWN has put together this handy guide for European parents to help avoid the €50k fine involved in failing to adhere to EU privacy regulations.

Due to being situated outside of the EU, the North Pole has to check each individual letter to Santa to make sure it is adhering to information guidelines which keep your children’s personal information safe and private. If anything the mass kidnapping of 447,567 children from EU homes told us in 2004, it’s that Santa lists can be lethal if they fall into the wrong hands. 

Never Write Surname Or Address

Every eejit knows Santa already knows where each child lives just by their first name alone. After all, Santa knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, however, as bloody Xmas day 2004 reminds us, he doesn’t know when he’s employing an elvish Satan-worshiping peadophile ring for over 70 years.

Leave No Clues 

Not to keep bringing it up, but no one wants almost half a million children disappearing over the space of a year – this is not America – whatever you do make sure there are no clues in your child’s wish list. No references to schools, pets, mammy and daddy, nothing; just first name, what toys they want. Remember to wipe all fingerprints and traces of DNA before sending.

Only Send Through Designated Santa Post Boxes

Nationalised postal services will stamp locations on letters so never ever use them for Santa lists – over 25% of the slaughtered innocents of ’04 used their state run postal service. We advise leaving the letter up the chimney as a good old fashioned organic way to send your Santa list. Certified Santa Mail centres are also a secure way, but as some survivors explained, always be accompanied by a parent when delivering the letter. 

Just Enjoy The Magical Moment

We understand it’s very hard to compartmentalise those horrific images and graphically detailed videos from Elfpocalypse 2004, but for the children’s sake, just have fun with it guys, and avoid passing on any anxieties to your children this Christmas as it could be their last.

In tomorrow’s Christmas Guide edition, legally making sure Santa accepts cookies before actually eating cookies.