Israeli Settlers Bulldoze Dublin City After It’s Twinned With Ramallah


ISRAELI settlers have asserted their divine right to the sacred historical lands of Dublin City after Dublin city councillors twinned the West Bank city of Ramallah with Ireland’s capital.

As early as 5am this morning, Dubliners were forced off the main roads and pavements by armed Israelis settlers which are now reserved for Israelis only. Additionally, Dubliners can no longer use the public transport network.

“We may have made a mistake,” conceded council officials, who thought they would only be accused of an ’empty gesture’ by left-wing activists rather than providing flimsy justification for Israeli settlers to move in and spend 24/7 violating international law.

Repeating scenes seen in the West Bank recently during which the IDF shot an unarmed disabled Palestinian man, settlers similarly neutralised a ‘threat’ in the form of imposing gathering of a violent crowd.

A spokesperson for the settlers denied the crowd later turned out to be a mother and child going to the shop for milk.

“Oh, boo-hoo, so your loved one was murdered by an Israeli citizen? And you don’t have access to the justice system like an Israeli does, big deal,” said a settler with a thick Brooklyn accent, busying himself bulldozing a row of houses in Dublin 1.

“Leave it out ye gobshite,” said one Dubliner as he was harassed at one of 175 checkpoints and roadblocks now dotted around the city and manned by the IDF.

UPDATE: the Dubliner arrived at the school he teaches at only to find, much like a recently demolished school in the West Bank built with funds from Irish Aid, his school was also torn down by settlers.