Combined Euromillions & National Lottery Win Needed To Buy 3-Bed In Dublin


A RECENT STUDY investigating the average cost of housing in the nation’s capital has discovered that to afford current prices a couple will need to have won both the Irish lotto and the Euromillions draw.

“Other research suggests buyers need a combined salary of €127,000 for a 3-bed but come on, it’s more likely the average couple will have won the lotto than be earning that,” explained Elaine Ward, researcher at the Institute of How The Fuck Can Anyone Afford This.

With the average cost of delivering a new-build 3-bed semi-d in Dublin standing at €397,000, Ward and her colleagues at IOHTFAAT have advised people to abandon strict saving regimes in favour of buying ‘all the scratch cards’.

“We don’t even ask for payslips anymore, we just need proof of a winning lotto ticket,” explained one mortgage manager at an Irish bank.

Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien welcomed the latest study, suggesting it marked significant progress under the coalition government.

“Finally, we’re making some headway, a good honest run of the mill Euromillions winning couple being able to afford a house is far cry from the dark days of last week when only Elon Musk could afford a Dublin gaff,” a beaming O’Brien said.