“‘Feminism’, Yeah That’s It” Confirms Woman Who Hasn’t Shaved Her Legs In Weeks
MEETING UP with friends in her local park Dublin woman Sarah Hughes’ bare legs became the topic of conversation as she absentmindedly went 12 weeks letting her legs grow hairier than a barber’s sink.
“Is it a feminism thing?” asked Hughes associate Niamh Hyland, her face full of concern and pity.
Having passed the acceptable length of leg hair among her circle of friends which could be dismissed with a jokey ‘I’m like a wholly mammoth’, Hughes spied a way to claim the moral high ground for her pure laziness thus deflecting any focus away from her recent could-not-be-arsedness.
“It might look like I copy and pasted Frida Kahlo’s unibrow onto my legs, but eh, yeah, it’s about ‘oppression’, ‘gender pay gap’ one of them ones,” offered Hughes who has nothing against women who take a liberal approach to body hair maintenance but she was just being a lazy cow.
“Chewbacca would be jealous of my bikini line too, let me tell you,” offered Hughes before doubling down on climbing to the high moral ground, “but more jealous of course would be Gloria Steinem”.
“Were I a more vain woman under the control of the male gaze, I’d be fucking mortified the state my legs are in, but lucky for me I’m a pioneer,” concluded Hughes already concocting an excuse to head home where she can have hairy legs in peace.