“Where’s The Wooden & Stiff Delivery? Amateur!” Complains Dublin Man Watching The Late Late

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A WHISKEY swilling Dublin man has voiced his displeasure at the new era of the RTÉ Late Late Toy Show, singling out host Patrick Kielty for criticism with withering comments about how he is thrashing the traditions of the beloved show.

“He’s far too at ease, this guy doesn’t get the magic of the Toy Show is all about being wooden and having the smooth delivery of sandpaper,” said the man, tightly gripping the arms of his chair and clenching his jaw in frustration.

“No one tunes in to see someone effortlessly chatting with kids, where’s the skin-crawling awkwardness that makes you want tear your eyes out?” scoffed the man.

“And where’s the sudden, out-of-nowhere inexplicable jolt of chaotic energy coming right out of an ad break?” added the man, who just wanted his old Toy Show back.

The negative comments highlight the tough future RTÉ has ahead of itself amid a shortfall in funding and a significant drop in trust amongst the viewing public.

“Maybe if they didn’t spend so much money on overpaid eejits, they could afford to upgrade their fecking player,” bemoaned the viewer, as he was forced to watched the same set as adverts in crystal clear HD before the jittery, heavily pixelated feed of the show itself cut out yet again.

“Who’d watch this and be inspired to make a failed €2.2mn musical about it all? No one!”

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