How The Media Would Report On Former Sinn Féin Politician Being Charged In €2.6mn Money Laundering Case

SECTIONS of the Irish media are in mourning today as they come to terms with the fact they are not able to report on a former Sinn Féin politician being charged in a €2.6mn money-laundering case since it is in fact ex-Fine Gael councillor Frank Kilbride who is at the centre of alleged criminality.

However, if the Longford based man at the centre of the little reported on news had an association with Sinn Féin we could have been treated to the following from the Irish media:

Newstalk announcing a dedicated channel to focus on the story named Sinnsane Crime FM.

Claire Byrne Live would be brought back for one night only on RTÉ 1 with a stage made entirely out of euro notes with Mary Lou McDonald’s face on them.

Byrne, now dressed as a giant brown envelope stuffed with cash, would parachute out from a plane directly onto Pearse Doherty in a bid to get answers from the finance spokesperson.

Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil TDs’ tweets repeatedly stating ‘not a normal party’ in response to the news would help generate a thousand easy articles for online news sites.

“Shiiiit, that would have been the PERFECT bit of news to serve as the basis for a column like ‘more proof Sinn Féin can’t be trusted with the public purse?'” cried one Irish Times columnist when informed by WWN of the news.

“‘Sinn Féin can’t shake their association with criminality’ is what I want to be saying right now, but since it’s an ex Fine Gael councillor there’s literally no reason to pursue or follow up on this story,” admitted one newspaper editor.

While ‘Sinn Féin TDs refuse to comment on possible attendance at Kilbride lavish shindig held in hotel just WEEKS ago’ has a nice ring to it, and would certainly push the story into true ‘scandal’ territory, pursing such things has been rendered a pointless waste of resources because it is Fine Gael TDs that would be subjected to such questions.

“He was in court over a hotel he ran potentially defrauding the ESB of €37,000 by tampering with electricity meters. What a shame, this could have been the perfect stick to beat Sinn Féin with. Don’t they vet candidates? And he was in court over alleged drinking driving in 2014?” an editor ruefully said.