Public Wish Life Sentence Actually Meant Life Sentence

IN AN attempt to get everyone on the same page with the Irish judiciary the Irish public is seeking clarification on sentencing and the justice system in general after Yousef Palani was sentenced to life* for the murders of Aidan Moffitt and Michael Snee.

As a unit of measurement in Ireland, the average person considers ‘life’ to mean the whole sum of one’s existence however under Irish law it means ‘eligible for parole after 12 years’.

“Did you know that sentences can run consecutively, not just concurrently?” the public inquired of Irish judges, struggling to fathom the fact two heinous, hateful murders and one attempted murder can be packaged up into one single sentence.

To ensure in future that such unthinkable, violent crimes carry clear ‘whole life sentences’ the public has been urged to increase their use of the word ‘consecutively’ in everyday conversation in the hope that it is absorbed by osmosis by sitting judges.

“‘Life’ is such a subjective thing, a dictionary may define it as the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death, whereas a judge might say ‘average sentence of 18 years’ – it’s a tricky thing.

“Just be thankful more murderers don’t play GAA or else ‘life’ could mean ‘say sorry and skip off home’,” confirmed one legal expert.