Woman Expressing Upset At Civilians Being Killed In Bombing Had No Idea She Was So Anti-Semitic


ONE LOCAL woman has learned that her grasp of the English language is not as commanding as she once thought, after opinion columnists, talking heads and Israeli government officials confirmed that expressing empathy for civilians being killed by bombs is anti-Semitic.

“I thought I was condemning the indiscriminate bombing of innocent people by a military which would constitute a war crime,” explained local woman Emma Garlan, reacting to images of dead Palestinians in much the same way she did to Israeli victims of Hamas attacks.

“No that’s anti-Semitism,” confirmed some in response to Garlan.

Double checking the definition in a dictionary, a relieved Garlan confirmed anti-Semitism means ‘hostility to or prejudice against Jewish people’.

“Yeah, I was almost certain it didn’t mean ‘rightfully condemning collective punishment, which is a war crime’ or ‘condemning the alleged bombing a hospital’ which is something I actually did,” explained Garlan, even more confused due to her ability to express ongoing revulsion at the attacks carried out by Hamas.

Further research online carried out by Garlan shocked the woman as it turned out the following things were also found to be anti-Semitic:

– Acknowledging Palestinians are human beings.

– Pointing out Israel’s minister of National Security Itamar Ben-Gvir used to have a portrait of Baruch Goldstein, perpetrator of a massacre which killed 29 Palestinians and wounded 125, in his office. Or that Ben-Gvir was previously convicted of supporting terrorist group Kach. Or that he has chanted ‘death to Arabs’ in the past.

– Mentioning the Israeli government had previously denied but admitted giving female Ethiopian Jewish immigrants birth-control injections, often without their knowledge or consent.

– Acknowledging Benjamin Netanyahu told his Likud party that allowing Hamas to control Gaza was key to ending the possibility of a two-state solution, along with dozens of other legitimate criticisms of the Israeli state.