McIlroy Backs Calls For Addition Of Hand To Hand Combat In Next Ryder Cup

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STILL FEEDING off the adrenaline that comes with winning the Ryder Cup, Rory McIlroy confirmed he would be approaching tournament organisers with the hope of convincing them to introduce a deadly hand to hand combat element to the next iteration of the Europe v USA competition.

“With the caveat that I have Big Shane there to back me up at all times,” confirmed McIlroy, fresh from a high profile ‘to do’ with Patrick Cantlay’s caddie in the car park of the Marco Simone Golf and Country Club.

Cited by many casual golf fans as the most exciting thing to happen to the game since Tiger Woods’ ex-wife put a golf club through his car’s windscreen, the moment McIlroy was captured in a confrontation with caddie Joe LaCava has opened up the potential for a new audience of millions.

“With clubs or without clubs, I’ll fight any man,” added McIlroy in a call out video during which he stated he was open to a Pay Per View style ‘prison rules’ car park scraps which would resemble MMA broadcasts.

“While it is satisfying to hole a putt from 30ft or chip in from a bunker, punching mouthy US opposition players is probably more satisfying. Give the people what they want I say,” confirmed McIlroy, already back in the gym practising his trademarked Holywood Haymaker.

Elsewhere, shares in Guinness reached peak levels after it was confirmed team Europe’s Shane Lowry led session had rolled over into a second day.

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