“Can All You Pricks Look At Me & Not The Big Screen” Bono Tells Vegas Crowd

ALREADY fearing his band’s decision to take a high profile residency in Las Vegas was a mistake, a teary-eyed Bono was captured on video pleading with the crowd on u2’s opening night at the Sphere to look at him and not the mind-blowing visuals were accompanying U2’s performance.

“Please, all eyes on me! It’s like oxygen to me,” pleaded Bono as he demanded the LED display be shut off as 100% of the 18,000 concert goers had their phones out recording the screen, ignoring the U2 frontman altogether.

As the concert progressed Bono began wailing in agony and slowly shrinking into a puddle of tears as he was deprived of his vital life source; attention.

Largely hailed as an enormous success by music journalists sent on an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas to cover the concert, the band’s residency was not without its critics.

“I paid $2k all so I could be seated beside a loud mouthed Yank shouting over the performance and providing a running commentary of the visuals to his livestream on Facebook,” one irate concert goer shared.

The addition of the Sphere to Las Vegas has proven a boon to sellers of hallucinogenic drugs with people who normally have no interest in U2 scrambling for tickets and some mushrooms.

Meanwhile, at least one visual artist responsible for the impressive displays on screen has been fired after a review of concert footage confirmed they inserted an unauthorised floor-to-ceiling ‘Bono Is A Pox’ image during the gig.