India Assassinating Sikh Leader In Canada Not On Anyone’s 2023 Bingo Card


WHILE seemingly a vast majority of Indian people reacting ‘yeah, that sounds like our government’ to the news that Canada has suggested there is credible evidence linking Indian authorities to the assassination of Sikh separatist leader Hardeep Singh Nijjar in June of this year, it has taken everyone else by surprise.

“I sort of pride myself on never being shocked by world events, like I predicted ‘arrogant CEO gets squashed in tin can at bottom of ocean’ and ‘Kanye gets a gondola blowjob in Venice’ this year, but this one is a major what-the-fuck moment for me,” said one person, learning to speak Hindi in case Indian leader Narendra Modi decides what 2023 needs is 1.4 billion Indians reducing Canadians to maple syrup.

“Midget aliens in Mexico I can get my head around, but we’ve enough going on with the Ukrainian war,” added another person, who had their bingo stamper reluctantly hovering over ‘Azerbaijan invades Armenia’ slot on their bingo card.

“What next? A US Republican congresswoman dishing out handjobs in a theatre during a performance of Beetlejuice the Musical? Look, they discovered a fucking cosmic event on Portmarnock beach in 2023, nothing surprises me anymore,” confirmed another person.

The international community has quickly condemned Modi’s assassination of a Canadian citizen on Canadian soil, wasting no time in making clear their displeasure at this grave situation.

“La la la can’t hear you,” confirmed the UK, US and other nations as Justin Trudeau tried to provide details of accusations they level against a strategic ally in Asia some western leaders would like to keep in their good books.