“Sound!” Dublin Thanks Galway For Taking The Heat Off It For A While


DUBLIN CITY has gone on record to show its appreciation for Galway city after recent horrific scenes of stomach turning violence has taken some of the heat off the beleaguered capital city.

“Nice one bud” confirmed Dublin, one of the few to find joy in video footage of a large violent gatherings and the use of a car as a potential murder weapon.

For much of the summer Dublin city had been synonymous with lawlessness and disintegrating social cohesion, but no one is talking about that today thanks in large part to Galway upping their contribution to the ‘holy shit, did you see that?’ crime charts.

“It was nonstop ‘Dublin is a hellhole’ for a while there, so really appreciate Galway stepping up and showing the public that the capital is just one of many locations in Ireland where you can go to have a gawk at real life GTA,” a relieved Dublin shared.

Gardaí defended their slow response at arriving on the scene in Galway as members of the public were too busy filming the incidents to actually use their phones to call and report the incidents.

Elsewhere, to save on time Justice Minister Helen McEntee has erected a cardboard cutout of herself in every major town and city for all her ‘tough on crime’ photo-op needs.

UPDATE: In a boost to tourism in Ireland the country has become the most popular ‘dark tourism’ location in the world, a practice which sees adrenaline seeking tourists only visit the most dangerous places on the planet.