Saipan Museum, 500-Storey Homeless Shelter; Suggestions For The ‘White Water Rafting’ Site

AS plans for a new development on George’s Dock have ground to a halt after the ‘white water rafting’ backlash, Dublin City Council has revealed a list of brilliant new ideas the site could be used for.

A safe house for tourists to run to in the event of being chased by locals.

A giant statue of Ryan Tubridy.

A 500-storey homeless shelter to cater for the 12,000 men, women and children currently without accommodation.

A burial ground where the country can bury RTÉ’s vast flip flop collection and finally move on as a nation.

Museum dedicated to the Saipan incident of 2002.

Spread out a giant net at the vacant location. Lay out a trail of Northface jackets on the ground leading from Temple Bar to George’s Dock. The second all the anti-social assault loving teenagers arrive on the scene, pull up the net and boom! Crime solved.

A permanent place for Helen McEntee to conduct all her PR related photoshoots without being embarrassingly photobombed by homeless or working-class people.

Don’t build a single thing there, you heartless bastards. This should be a shrine, a place for people to mourn the fact they won’t get a white-water rafting facility.