Friend Of Friend Doing Pathetic ‘What’s Your Name Again?’ Routine


TURNING in an acting performance critics are calling ‘you full on know my name, we’ve met before’, one local friend of a friend is insisting on the fact they’ve never met you before.

An unedifying charade which makes a mockery of long-held and accepted social norms, Dave Hilley has confirmed it is ‘nice to meet you, oh have we? What’s your name again?’ despite the fact he met you at Shauna’s gaff and Grace’s 30th in recent months.

“Honestly, there’s just no need,” confirmed onlookers as Hilley set up yet another awkward encounter which left you feeling like you’d be a wet blanket if you pointed out how he knows exactly who you are because how hard is it to remember Liam’s work friend. Like, come on.

Insulting theatrics completely unbecoming of cross-friend-group interactions, Hilley’s sly attempt to underplay prior greetings and socialising was made to stand out more by the fact Una, Peter’s friend who you met at Shauna’s that night as well went out of her way to say hello.

“His handshake is weaker than Heineken Zero too,” you remarked to yourself, now burning a hole through his head from across the room where he was deep in conversation a bunch of people who have names that are apparently really easy to remember.

“Maybe he’s just one of those people whose bad with names or a little socially awkward,” a voice in your head said incorrectly, referencing Hilley who is clearly trying to belittle you and wage low stakes psychological warfare against you for his own sick and twisted gratification.