Candidates Who Could Replace Ryan Tubridy

WITH RTÉ faced with the impossible task of replacing broadcasting legend Ryan Tubridy, WWN tries its very best to pick the candidates who could possibly fill the golden boy’s flip flops on RTÉ Radio 1’s morning slot.

First of all, you can’t get the staff these days for €170k? For five hours work a week? Hardly a living wage, but we’ll try:

After recently getting a Revolut bank account, Bertie Aherne has said he is willing to put his hat in the ring, but we fear he’s not actually related to anyone we know of working in RTÉ so this may be a hurdle.

Any middle-class Irish man who likes the sound of his own voice.

With the advent of AI voice cloning technology, the idea of an AI Tubridy should not be overlooked. Robotic, bland and mundane nature artificial intelligence creates could be a flawless transition for his dedicated listers.

That young one ASMR YouTuber you listen to that would result in your wife leaving you were she ever to find out.

Dave Fanning unfiltered. Now hear us out – tell Dave he can cover whatever he wants on air; celebrity obituaries, historical genocides, just leave Dave run his mouth off uncensored like he does on Twitter. People love listening to aging radio presenters taint their entire career with flippant takes on current affairs – if it all goes wrong, they can just relocate him to RTÉ Gold.

A Renault salesman from Cork trying to sell you an electric Megane for two hours every weekday morning.

The Late Late Show owl is allegedly out of work after a logo revamp and we believe the sound of an owl flapping its wings can be quite therapeutic, not to mention its wonderful hoots. This would be our favourite choice.