Man Who Misses Conservative Catholic Ireland Advised To Emigrate To Saudi Arabia

ONE LOCAL man who is always diagnosing Ireland as a soulless secular hell in need of a return to the idyllic days of the tyrannical reign of the Catholic Church has been informed that he would absolutely love Saudi Arabia or any number of Middle Eastern countries.

“I can’t help but trace a connection between acknowledging women are human beings with the downfall of modern life as we know it,” local man Richard Morrissey says multiple times a day, but the Waterford man is seemingly unaware that there is an immediate remedy to his discomfort.

“Everything you ever dreamed of or held sacred is right there, and hey, they’ve even made some improvements – no need to lock women up and force them into slave labour, these guys even execute bothersome women cutting down on all that needless paperwork,” confirmed head of the Catholics For The Good Old Days group Dermot Crowley, who is just one of dozens of Irish Catholics who have moved to Saudi Arabia as it’s cheaper than inventing time travel and going back to the 1950s.

Were Morrissey to make the move to the Middle East the language barrier may prove a stumbling block but knowing that he’s living in a country which pays lip service to women’s rights more than makes up for it.

“I always warn people that abortion is legal in cases of risk to a woman’s life, fetal impairment, or to protect her physical and mental health over in Saudi, but hey you can’t win them all,” added Crowley.