Anthony Joshua Tests Positive For Everything After Swig Of McGregor’s Pint

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THE BOXING career of Anthony Joshua hangs in the balance after a very excitable Conor McGregor forced the fighter to take a swig of his pint outside the ring in the aftermath of the English man’s victory over Robert Helenius.

“Sadly Joshua has indeed tested positive, even for drugs the testers had no idea had been invented yet,” confirmed the fighter’s promoter, Eddie Hearn.

How such substances ended up in a drink handled by full-time court attender Conor McGregor remains a mystery.

“I thought quaaludes were out of circulation, wow, this piss sample literally exploded upon contact with the testing tube,” marveled an official WADA drug tester.

A positive drug test could see Joshua out of action for some time and facing the nightmare scenario of being reduced to making celebrity appearances at major sporting events and serving as a pathetic sideshow, causing skin-crawling revulsion to manifest in anyone who lays eyes on him.

“Could you imagine? We’ll do everything to get Anthony back into the ring, but if the ban is too long we can always help him win back the respect of people by just storming boxing rings to promote a drink and call-out YouTubers,” confirmed promoter Hearn.

UPDATE: WADA have been forced to blow up the building housing the positive sample, such was the levels of toxicity.

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