Varadkar Puts Toaster In Press Upon Return From Visiting Unionists In North


AFTER Coming into contact with a Linfield FC jersey on his recent engagements in Northern Ireland aimed at getting Stormont back up and running, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been exhibiting some odd behaviour which has caused his colleagues some concern.

“But you’ll have to take it out every morning when you want to make toast, and then what? You’re going to put it back in the press after using it? It’s a lot of effort. It makes about as much sense as our housing policy Leo,” said one of the Taoiseach’s advisors as he placed his toaster in a press.

“I want to ask him what city does the Foyle run through but I’m afraid of the answer I’m going to get,” admitted the advisor.

Holding court with people representing those who abhor homosexuals and burned an effigy of him on a bonfire just a few weeks ago, Varadkar has drawn praise for his statesmanlike dedication to trying to offer an live branch and get the Northern Ireland executive back working for the people who elected them into office.

“Typical West Brit taking the soup,” confirmed one man, who had stated many times before that a United Ireland will require communities working together and being open with and understanding of one another.

Elsewhere, the DUP has praised the efforts made by Varadkar and gave the public hope they may be moving away from their negative anti-democratic ways by stating that they’d sooner wear Carolina Reaper chili peppers as contact lenses than serve the people of Northern Ireland.