New Farmer’s Party: Their Policies In Full


IT FEELS like every new day brings with a new political party. Today is the turn of Farmers’ Alliance which is set to launch a political party which purports to represent rural Ireland, a monolithic group that all share the exact same opinion on all matters as any media publication will attest.

Will the Farmers’ Alliance provide the robust and fresh alternative the voting public desperately craves? WWN takes a look at their policies:

The party pledges to shoot Eamon Ryan out of a canon.

Have ‘we put food on your table’ tattooed on every single citizen’s forehead by 2030.

Full unadulterated socialism for farmers’ losses and unfettered capitalism for their profits.

Pretend to speak for all farming families even if they only get 3 votes at local elections.

To repeatedly post ‘The Green Agenda’ on social media while offering no solutions to every day issues affecting the rural population.

Pledges to promote free speech so expert to hear the word ‘woke’ with the same frequency a cow farts.

Whatever it is, under the Farmers’ Alliance plans, you can just pump it into Ireland’s waterways no questions asked.

Judging by the unhinged right wing accounts the party is following online a pledge to help transform future members into full blown flat earth conspiracy theorists who rage against the NWO’s 15 Minute City masterplan by the time the local elections roll around.

To do their own research whenever facts like agriculture being responsible for 99% of all ammonia emissions in Ireland is brought up.

Will act at all times like the government backing down on asking for a 50% reduction in emissions from the sector by 2030 and only asking for 25% is not a huge victory for the agri-sector.

The party wants grants relating to reducing Co2 emissions to rise in tandem with every instance of the party publicly denying climate change is real.

Unsure if they’ll repeat TD Michael Fitzmaurice’s claims that climate action amounts to ethnic cleansing of agricultural community but could probably help gain a few votes.

Pledge to dig holes on every farm of farmer members to place their heads in anytime carbon emissions are brought up.