Every Christopher Nolan Movie Ranked By How Much They Confuse Your Dad
COLLATING on-the-spot ‘talking over the movie as it plays’ reviews that your dad has administered while watching various Christopher Nolan movies over the years, WWN has gathered the definitive list of Nolan’s filmed based on how much they confuse and irritate your father.
Starting with least confused:
“Al Pacino, now there’s an actor! Have ya seen Heat? Oh, Robin Williams going all serious now. Mrs Doubtfire, Jesus, you wouldn’t get away with that now in 2003.”
“He’s in some shape that Christopher Bales, isn’t he? There’s Liamo now!”
The Dark Knight
“Keith? No, that’s what I’m saying Keith Ledger. And do they know what, ah drugs. Accidental overdose? Well, you only need look at the Joker now to know, he wasn’t a well man God love him.”
The Dark Knight Rises
“What did he say? Can’t hear a fucking word out of him. I’d say the director is livid, spending millions and them after forgetting to record his lines properly. Nolan’s the director’s name, is it? Is he related to the Nolan sisters?”
“Ah twins! You can fuck right off”.
“It’s like they took Saving Private Ryan and put in a blender just to confuse you”.
“You’d need a PHD in quantum bullshit to be making sense of it. Is he is own Da? No, I understand the books falling off the wall, I’m not stupid you little smart aleck… but explain it to your mother there she’s lost.”
“Who’s he? What did yer man say? In what now? The world doesn’t fold up like that, I’m sorry now. It’s just not realistic, people don’t be having dreams like that. Ah now Margaret, that dream about your sister was one-off and I apologised 15 years ago. See what you started with this movie shite; you’ve upset your mother!”
“Mention that yoke in my presence again, and I won’t be held responsible for the violence I cause. Stupidest yoke that ever yoked. The title is the same spelt backwards, oh very clever, if he spent as much time on actually writing a coherent fucking movie as he did on the clever clogs title, he’d have something. I don’t care if you downloaded it illegally for free, I want my money back”.
“Three hours? You must be fucking joking me, you’re alright thanks!”