Trump One More Criminal Charge Away From Free Coffee


FORMER US president Donald Trump is just one more stamp away on his criminality card from receiving a free coffee, WWN can confirm.

The news comes after Trump was on the receiving end of a new indictment which adds one count of wilful retention of defence information and two of obstruction, bringing him to 40 charges in total in the case related to his alleged mishandling of classified files.

“Oh and with our special offer today you qualify for a free donut too because you pressured an employee to flood the room filled with servers storing the CCTV footage the FBI told you to hand over,” explained one Starbucks worker, of the special promotional offer they run for US presidents.

“No sir, you can’t change the drink to a diet Coke. It’s specifically a free coffee offer,” added the worker before whispering ‘Code Karen, I repeat we’ve got a Code Karen’ into their headset to alert a manager.

Senior executives at Starbucks are said to considering pulling the offer as if Trump keeps up his current rate of accumulating charges he could earn enough free coffee to put the retail giant out of business.

Despite the good news, Trump seems reluctant to claim his offer.

“There is a totally innocent reason why an employee of mine drained a swimming pool at Mar-a-Lago and then the server room was flooded,” explained Trump on Truth Social, to a group of loyal supporters who would accept Trump murdering their entire families with a shrug of the shoulders.

In more normal, run of the mill news in America, a former military official testified before Congress to all-but-confirm the existence of extraterrestrial aliens.