Mummy’s Precious Little Angel Actually A Feral Little Shit
A RECENT parentological survey of the children belonging to one Maria Grady has concluded that an urgent recategorisation of the status of her middle child Liam is needed.
The 11-year-old is known to friends, families and neighbours of Grady’s as ‘Mummy’s little angel’ but rudimentary research has confirmed that he is in fact a feral little shit who wouldn’t be out of place at the right hand of the Devil himself.
“I saw him throwing stones at the Ferris’ car the other morning, but no butter wouldn’t melt according to his Mam,” confirmed one neighbour who was interviewed as part of the study.
“To qualify for ‘Mummy’s precious little angel’ status a child must display empathy for others, the odd wholesome question that would make your heart melt and just a general lack of being a little terror, and unfortunately Liam fails on all fronts,” said parentologist Dr Neil Trapp.
The outcome of the survey now requires Grady to face up to reality and in an undertaking seen as near impossible, actually discipline and correct her child when he does wrong.
“Ah, boys will be boys, sure all that energy of his has to come out one way or another, he’s a dote really,” said Grady after Liam took to punching a neighbour’s child not an hour after pouring water over a chalk hopscotch game who wasn’t part of on account of being a one-child crime spree.
“Good boy Liam, he’s very clever that way, he’s picks up stuff by himself very good at learning,” added Gardy as Liam started a fire on the green using a neighbour’s bike as kindling.