Local Father Wouldn’t Have Had Kids If He Knew He’d Have To Spend Time With Them


A LOCAL WATERFORD man has confirmed that he hadn’t fully thought out the implications of fatherhood and would do it differently if he had another go around, WWN can exclusively reveal.

“They’re just… here, all the time,” said reluctant father-of-three Cormac Cacklan trying to drown out the cacophony of noise caused by his children as they tore through the house.

“And they ask all these questions,” added Cacklan, who has called on authorities to make would-be fathers more aware of how inconvenient and head-wrecking being a father can be.

“Like, I didn’t have to apply for a licence or anything, they just let you sire a child. Basket case of a country so it is, any prick can do it,” observed Cacklan, who was fielding his 40th ‘but why?’ question of the past hour.

Cacklan lamented that he had to take his children to several sports training sessions and recreational activities every week which has lead to a significant reduction in his lying idle on the couch time.

“And don’t get me started on this clothing and feeding them shite,” added Cacklan, who had underestimated how hard it would be cement a reputation as an irritable and emotionally distant father that strikes fear into the hearts of his children.

“I try to ignore them but they thick with you then, like I’ve some sort of obligation to them. Can you believe that?” signed Cacklan.