Local Man Signs €20mn A Year Deal With Saudi Club After Completing 6 Keepy Uppies


THE TALENT drain from top European leagues continues as a top Saudi Pro League side has signed Irishman Cian Tiernan in a blockbuster move.

While several high profile moves have been secured for renowned footballers approaching the twilight of their careers, the signing of of a still in his prime 24-year-old Tiernan highlights the fact the Saudi government are serious about their sportswashing project.

“I was technically on a free because I haven’t played 11-a-side for a few years but five Saudi lads turned up with a suitcase of cash and tried to buy me off me Mam,” said Tiernan, who came to the attention of Al Human Rights Abuses United after successfully completing six keepy uppies in row if you don’t can’t the bounce after his first attempt.

“Wait, the more I think about this it sounds like I’m a victim of human trafficking,” said Tiernan, who at €20mn a year is one of the league’s poorest paid players.

The former Waterford Floodlit Soccer player was known to play in goals due to needing frequent breaks from sprinting but can play in a variety of roles with his versatility being something European clubs would have loved to utilise were they not outbid by Al Human Rights Abuses United.

UPDATE: Tiernan was due to be unveiled in front of the media at a press conference earlier today but this was cancelled due to the fact the Saudi government has a habit of murdering journalists.