Half The Country Fucked If Hate Speech Laws Introduced, Finds Survey

“WE bleedin’ invented hate speech, we’re all fucked,” was just one of the many comments given in a new survey on Ireland’s new hate speech laws proposed by the government.

The comments come as tight-lipped Justice Minister Helen McEntee stated the proposed legislation “is not radical as detractors claim”, putting zero fears to bed due to the ongoing incompetence of the coalition government over the years and its incredibly poor communication record with the general public.

“She says very little, pops her head up now and then and then tries passing vague laws no one really understands; how do they expect people to react?” one ‘detractor’ stated, who works as a surgeon in a Dublin hospital and not as a right-wing conspiracy theorist as the government would have people believe.

The nation’s dads are expected to the main group of people affected by the new laws, which would see them jailed if they dared speak out of turn using harmful or abusive terms against minority groups.

“I identify as a racist bigot, how’s that?” one dad chimed in, trying to create a minority of his own to protect, “what about our rights to be pricks to people? If you take those away, then you’re destroying a whole generation of insecure heterosexual white men who thrive on belittling anyone who’s different to them – they’ll be alienating half the country”.

It is understood the new hate speech laws will also cover anyone hating against NATO, Ireland joining NATO or jumped up little Presidents who’ve become far too big for their brógs.