Most Of Man’s Day Spent Trying Not To Fall Asleep


ANY given weekend local man Graham Hurley’s day is dominated by fighting the overwhelming urge to fall asleep, with the sudden onset of tiredness ready to strike at any moment.

“The couch, it looks so inviting but it’s 1pm that’s prime conking out territory and I’ve to pick the kids up from their grandads in half an hour,” said Hurley, who has adopted a strategy of just never sitting down in a bid to ensure sweet slumber never calls during daylight.

Regardless of whether it is a crunch sports game he was unreasonably excited about watching or an adrenaline pumping movie, Hurley refuses to risk sitting down such is the ferocious force of the yawn.

“There’s potentially a window at 4pm where I can sneak a nap but I’m that tired I could be out for hours which throws off the balance altogether,” Hurley explained, to himself, in a dream, entirely unaware that he had fallen asleep mid-interview.

Man’s inability to stay awake during late mornings all the way through to early evenings has fascinated scientists since the dawn of time, but no explanation, never mind solution, has been hit upon.

“The likes of Graham have two choices; just give in to the nap or fight it with every bone in their body, which ironically makes them even more tired,” shared sleepologist Dr Cormac Carney.

Elsewhere, Hurley’s wife Sandra has expressed surprise at the revelations, especially considered she hasn’t had a nap since their children were born over a decade ago.